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The weather outside is frightful…actually shite. Which is great for me. I can curl up in bed for another few hours while himself is gone to work. I’m not back in work until next week. A part of me loves to gloat when I get to stay home and he doesn’t. Everybody else seems to be starting their post on fb something to the effect “I should be out running…or in the gym but instead I’m eating chocolate ….or watching Scrooged..”. Shut the fuck up… Me, I’m embracing my inner lazy bitch.

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“You wouldn’t bring me up a cup of tea would you.. I got no sleep with that racket you made last night”. I do feel a tinchy tiny pang of guilt, he didn’t snore at all.. Off he goes to earn a crust while the rest of the house snooze. My three sons (two in college and my youngest in his final year at school) won’t surface before noon. Being lazy is very acceptable in our household.

“Lazy people tend to have a higher IQ” -me.. Well, think about it, you have to be both cunning and lazy to get other people to do your bidding.

“I always choose a lazy person to do a job because he/she will find the quickest way to do it” – Bill Gates.

Lazy people get things done quicker. My new ‘mission statement’ is “It’ll do”. Forget about perfection, if you have a job to do just do the bare essentials, fuck it, who needs the stress of trying to do a job well. Expect less of yourself and you won’t be disappointed.

Work accidents rarely happen when you’re having a lie-on in bed. Come to think of it neither do sports injuries. Is a universal truth that laziness is the best preventative step to avoid sports injury. Take that extra 3 hours under the duvet safe in the knowledge that you are avoiding all of the following:

Tennis elbow
Skiers thumb
Groin pull
Turf toe
Cruciate ligament
Shin splints
Camel toe (not sure about this one but it sounds painful)

Synonyms for laziness are indolence and sloth. Indolence derives from the Latin indolentia, ‘without pain’ or ‘without taking trouble’. I rest my case. Who the fuck needs pain or trouble??
I don’t think necessity is the mother of invention. Invention . . . arises directly from idleness, possibly also from laziness. To save oneself trouble.”
― Agatha Christie, An Autobiography

Always put off ’til tomorrow what you can do today. Procrastination is my middle name. If you can engage in an activity that’s more pleasurable now, well, need I explain that one..so eat and drink indiscriminately, fuck the longer-term consequences.

dolce far niente (‘it is sweet to do nothing”)
For those of you who disagree you might like this