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Bad Cheese Etiquette…

imageAre you guilty? Ever gone to the fridge to satisify a sudden urge to eat a tasty chunk of mature Cheddar only to find a hard dried up orange brick with green bits around the edge. Or maybe you’ve been salivating over a mental image of your favourite Wensleydale only to find a crumbled mess on the shelf where you left it. Or you go to take a slice of Edam only to find the corners brittle and curling up. Not only has someone moved your cheese but that someone hasn’t wrapped it up properly rendering it inedible. It’s enough to induce a full blown mini mental breakdown. Bad cheese etiquette is something that really makes me angry, really cheeses me off (sorry!)

If you want to live your life by the good cheese etiquette principal I suggest you follow these 7 golden rules:-

  1. Don’t leave a re-sealable pack half open because you couldn’t be bothered to seal it properly.
  2. Don’t butter your bread first then put the same knife back in the Philadelphia tub. It’s disgusting.
  3. Don’t stick your finger in the Philadelphia.
  4. Don’t take the wax Babybel wrapper and roll it into a football shape and play table footie.
  5. Don’t grate it over your pasta at the dinner table leaving a sprinkling of cheese on the tablecloth around your plate. Grate first into a bowl and then sprinkle with a spoon over your dish.image
  6. If you do find green mould on your cheese, don’t scrape it off and leave it back in the fridge for the next unsuspecting victim of your bad cheese etiquette. It may still have some hidden mould. Just because you are gross, doesn’t mean everyone else is. (I know I know you’re going to say cheese is a mould anyway, but you know what I mean). If you are on the verge of starvation and absolutely must cut the mould away to stave off certain death, use a clean knife for each cut to avoid further contamination.
  7. Don’t make silly sculptures with your cheese. Unless you can do a proper job don’t bother.