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imageYesterday in a pub in Dublin’s Financial Centre, I spotted two men chest bumping each other. WTF!! I thought that was the privilege of spotty teen football players celebrating a goal. Not so, these men looked respectably suited and booted. It made me feel old.

When I was a kid we were thought that the acceptable form of greeting people was to shake hands. As things moved on we became more sophisticated. It was all about French cheek kissing, a concept which has taken me over two decades to embrace. Finally, I’m getting to grips with the huggy kissy thing, when it’s all changed again.

Chest bumping, I’ll never master it. Not in a million years. I ask Himself what he thinks of the whole thing and he offers to help me practice. (I know he hasn’t a clue what chest bumping is). I’m socially inept, I’d never know when it’s appropriate and when not. Do you greet an old friend with a chest bump, or is it solely for celebrating a point scored watching University Challenge?

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Here are my top five ‘you know you’re getting old when……’

  1. You’re biggest fear is chest bumping. You’d rather not win the lotto in case the celebration would involve this gross affront to your dignity.
  2. You look at the kids on the block. They’re starting to go bald.
  3. You play CD’s, the sole preserve of the deeply uncool.
  4. You feel like the morning after you haven’t been anywhere.
  5. You are the proud owner of a sewing machine.
  6. Your mind makes plans your body can’t keep.
  7. You look forward to doing nothing for the weekend.
  8. You can’t count anymore (I said top 5, I’ve listed 8).

 

Chest bumping looks particularly painful for women

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