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I need a new mirror, one that lies.

imageGetting into the lift this morning, I looked particularly bedraggled as I viewed my reflection in the full length mirror facing me. This mirror is my nemesis. Enter this lift at your peril. No matter what efforts I make to look half decent, the mirror tells the same story.

Not just me, every woman in the office hates it. The lighting gives a strange liverish pallor to all and sundry. Too much reality first thing in the morning.

My grooming routine consists of a slap-on of foundation and a dab of lippy. In my dimly lit hall mirror I look reasonably acceptable, blissfully unaware of reality. But enter the lift, and all illusion of vanity is removed. This mirror is a crime against humanity. It shows every little line and blemish and manages to give a cadaver like appearance.

imageRecently the boss asked us for suggestions to make our work place better, a think tank of sorts. Ideas to generate additional revenue or save on expenditure. We were all expected to come up with at least one suggestion. I gave it my full consideration and came up with this. I suggested replacing the mirror in the lift. Replace it with one like the ones in clothes boutiques that make you look both skinny and tanned at the same time. Every woman knows about them. How many times have I bought a dress or a pair of jeans that looked fabulous in the shop, only to get home to find that my lumpy arse still looks feckin lumpy.

My thinking was that all the women in the office would start the day feeling confident and happier in the knowledge that they look fabulous, resulting in greater productivity, a more resourceful fruitful workforce…. Clients visiting the office would feel welcomed and assured when greeted by a better more comely reflection of themselves. A happy client is our main goal, right?

imageI was outraged to learn that not only did my suggestion not receive the full consideration it deserved that it was in fact was met with derision.

Reasons to love a mirror that lies.

  • Makes you feel fabulous, resulting in a more cheerful disposition.
  • Makes you feel skinny, resulting in a more cheerful disposition.
  • Makes you feel sexy , resulting in a more cheerful disposition.
  • Makes you look tanned, resulting in a more cheerful disposition.

What’s not to love?