Time to get those legs out. The glossy magazines have declared it so.
Time to banish the tights. Never mind that your legs are so white they’re purple. The glossies have spoken.
I hate tights. There, I’ve said it. Tights are the root of all evil. The spawn of the devil. I use the word hate here. I developed a tight phobia at an early age. Thick woolly tights were enforced on me as a child, leading to a lifelong fear of the word.
I never had a pair that fit. As one of six girls, the tights drawer was a mix of colours and sizes, you grabbed a pair while rushing to get ready for school. It was pot luck. We were all different sizes and ages, so you either ended up with a pair that were too small, which resulted in the gusset around your knees, or a pair too big, which resulted in the gusset around your knees. Either way, you ended up with a penguin like walk. Actually too small is slightly better as too big also resulted in the wrinkled folds drooping around the ankles. The Nora Batty look. No wonder I’m psychologically scarred.
I’m not suggesting you throw away said tights, rather find other uses for them. Remember, thriftiness is next to Godliness. Tights have many uses. I’ve put together a few suggestions.
De-frizz your hair. A work colleague gave me this tip many years ago and it has stood me in good stead. After washing and drying hair, pop a pair of tights on your head to keep your tresses smooth and sleek. I’m not kidding, this works.
Geography lesson. When you need to tell the difference between stalactites and stalagmites. Tights always hang down.
Straining fruit. When you’re not wearing your tights in Summer, use them to make raspberry coulis. Place fruit in the gusset, squeeze out the juice for a delicious raspberry concentrate. Use the juice to make cordial, coulis or drink it straight.
Draughts. Stuff the legs with newspaper and tie off to make draught excluders to sit at the base of a draughty door.
Disguise. I’m always promoting thriftiness. You can’t get more thrifty than holding up a bank. Pop a pair or tights on your head and you have the look. You’re half way there.
Garden ties. Useful in the garden as ties for climbing vegetables or plants, or for supporting large vegetables as they grow, like marrows or melons.
Wrinkle-free gift wrap storage: Store rolls of gift wrap paper in old tights, one roll per leg. and hang them in your wardrobe to keep paper neat and crease free.
Special photo effects: Stretch tights over your camera lens to give photos a starburst or muted effect. (Just remember to take them off before you try this.)
Love: Give them to your loved one to wear under his trousers in the colder months. He’ll thank you for it when he’s pottering around the garage! Especially if it’s your old woolly ones!