My dream of a luxury Caribbean cruise will remain just that, a dream, unless I come up with a cunning plan. Staring out of my rain soaked office window, my mind is elsewhere. I’m lounging on deck, a Pimms in one hand and my Jamaican Patois phrase book in the other. A gentle breeze caresses my bikini body (in my dreams I have a bikini body). A hot sailor arrives with a cold towel to gently dab away a bead of sweat from my sunkissed forehead…..
I trawl the internet looking for ways and means of earning a few shillings and turn my fantasy into reality. The internet offers a plethora of suggestions, but one catches my eye.
Handbag Rental:- Yes, there are crazy people out there willing to part with cash for a loan of your handbag. Initially I find this an amusing idea. Reminiscing about days of old when I lived at home with my five sisters. Handbags were exchanged without permission or knowledge. You could arrive home to find your polo mints and lip gloss strewn across the bed, handbag nowhere to be seen. Many an argument started with ‘Where the f**k is my bag”. Ahh! Happy days. If I had a penny for every time my handbag was commandeered….
But this idea or renting out your handbag intrigues me. A Burberry clutch will get you 35 euros per week. A Longchamp tote maybe even more. My plan may indeed be cunning. The only drawback is a lack of designer bags in my wardrobe. I might get 50 cent for my old satchel, but that wouldn’t cover the postage.
And there is that fact that my handbag is a health hazard.
However, it’s a universal truth that any domestic Goddess worth her salt must own at least one decent bag. How else can she be differentiated from the peasants. I do have a lovely Orla Kiely shopper that I’m quite attached to. I’m not about to let any old tosser (too miserable to buy their own bag) use and abuse it. I’ll rent out my Primark crossover bag for starters and see how I get on. There can’t be that much competition, I can’t imagine anyone who owns an Alexander McQueen skull box clutch would be that hard pressed that they’d have to rent it out.
If the handbag rental goes well, I could rent out all sorts of things. Shoes..I have a pair of runners that need breaking in. I wouldn’t even charge extra for the muck. Maybe not my good shoes, don’t relish the thought of some slimey old pervert sniffing around my stilettos… Scarves, sunglasses, jewellery, husband. The sky’s the limit.
I consider other ideas..
Personal Assistant to Millionaire:- Dashing about, organising appointments, booking flights. Maybe I could be a kind of skivvy to the stars. I have visions of me collecting George Clooney’s dry cleaning. I’ll make myself indispensable to him. George will be incapable of sneezing without my guidance. In order to get the gig, I’d have to look the part. Mmm…Maybe I’ll rent a little Gucci clutch bag.